Sunday, July 01, 2007

Episode 50 - "Enough of your maudlin self-pity!"

PCX reviews What If? V1 #33
(part 1 of 2)

20 Comments:

Blogger T Mafia said...

And before anyone asks

Q) How the hell is this episode 'part 1 of 2'?!

My response is

A) That would be telling.

July 01, 2007 3:28 AM  
Blogger Vixen said...

Well...I'm putting in a disclaimer:I was forced to record that song b/c the boys threatened me w/anal rape---until my anus was bleeding!!!!! (Listen to episode for explanation). But, overall, my fellas did a great job....BTW,I would really feel the love of the PCX audience if y'all would leave comments on my blog...(hint, hint)

July 02, 2007 7:45 AM  
Blogger T Mafia said...

Needy, isn't she?

July 02, 2007 8:07 AM  
Blogger XantesFire said...

Will you be posting the lyrics?

July 02, 2007 10:36 AM  
Blogger T Mafia said...

Sing along with Podcast X!

WHAT IF? COMICS DOUBLE FEATURE

Starhawk:
What If? comics
Double feature
Volume one
Issue three-three-er

Galactus is conquering
The cunt of Dazzler
Makes her accept him
As her master

Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh
How low
Will this podcast
Dare to go?

Starhawk & T Mafia:
We sing the show

Starhawk:
So-oh-oh
We see Dazzler

T Mafia:
As Galactus'

Starhawk & T Mafia:
Herald ho


DAMMIT DAZZLER

"Galactus" (T Mafia):
That outfit's skintight, so just can it (Dammit)
You've been horny since we got to this planet (Dammit)
So don't make this hard, bitch, or dammit (Dammit)
I'll feed you my pimp hand, 'cause Dammit Dazzler, I love you

The fucks will be hard when I ram it (Dammit)
Into your ass, so just plan it (Dammit)
To be what you get at each planet (Dammit)
Because your ass is mine as I plan it, Dazzler, to rape you

Here's a a robot to prove that I'm not selfish
If you like, you can surely fuck him too
But just remember, he's but a toaster
It's Galactus who will be ass fucking you

"Dazzler" (Starhawk):
Oh, it's nice to be fucked by Galactus

"Galactus":
Yeah, bitch!

"Dazzler":
Now I'm his bitch, and with practice

"Galactus":
Yeah, bitch!

"Dazzler":
I'll be fucking and swallowing cum from prophylactics

"Galactus":
Yeah, bitch!

"Dazzler":
I'm the herald of Galactus, and now his whore too
Oh, Galactus

"Galactus":
Oh, Dazzler

"Dazzler":
I'm still mad...

"Galactus":
Oh, Dazzler

"Dazzler":
For you

"Galactus":
I love you too.

"Galactus" & "Dazzler":
There's one thing left to do - ah - ooh.

"Galactus":
We must star in a podcast that slams it (Dammit)
Podcast X - I believe they've scanned it (Dammit)
On that mud-sucking ball of a planet (Dammit)
Called Earth and that sucks, but Goddammit Dazzler, I love you
Dammit Dazzler

"Dazzler":
Oh Galactus, I'm mad.

"Galactus":
Dammit Dazzler

"Galactus" & "Dazzler":
Our love is doomed


THERE'S A WHORE

Starhawk:
Dude, look at her face

T Mafia:
Yeah, mouth hanging all open, arms outstretched
She's just reaching out for tri-cock

Starhawk:
Through the cosmic brothels
Flies the whore at night
Dazzling bright
Fresh like a child star
She'll suck and fuck without self-regard

There's a whore

T Mafia:
Over at Galactus' place

Starhawk:
There's a brand new baby whore

T Mafia:
Skating all around the place

Starhawk:
There's a dazzling disco whore, herald suck fuck
For every cosmic night

The Dazzler must go
Skating ever through the cosmos
Mirrored booties, firm boobies
Skintight bodysuit, streaking through the night
A slut dressed in white

There's a whore

T Mafia:
Over at Galactus' place

Starhawk:
There's a whore

T Mafia:
Cosmic cum upon her face

Starhawk:
There's a dazzling disco whore, in the darkness
For everyone to come and fuck


TAKE OUT THE TRI-COCK

Starhawk:
It's amazing
Just how quickly
Her latest raping becomes quite old
She's like a baby

T Mafia:
Not for very much longer

Starhawk:
But one with a fresh new hole

'Cause Galactus said, Bitch, you're my new whore
I'm the new tri-cock in town
So prepare your anus
You dazzling new vixen

Starhawk & T Mafia:
While I take out the tri-cock again
Take out the tri-cock again

Starhawk:
Five-year olds on the left

Starhawk & T Mafia:
And pedophiles on the right

Starhawk:
Take the tri-cock in fist

Starhawk & T Mafia:
It's an amazing sight
With a cosmic thrust
It's in her anus
Take out the tri-cock again
Take out the tri-cock again

Starhawk:
Dazzler feels creamy
But her ass gets so weary
Did her pussy fall out?
Oh no, not at all
It's just that that itchy sensation
One gets with masturbation
That tells you it's
Time to clean off
But we're talking about sluts here

T Mafia:
And Dazzler knows no fear

Starhawk:
She's the daredevil of cosmic hos

T Mafia:
But Galactus is hungry

Starhawk:
And the hunger is calling

Starhawk & T Mafia:
Take out the tri-cock again
Take out the tri-cock again

Starhawk:
So she's flying through space
Leading with her breasts
When asteroids fall on her right and left
At first they take the Dazzler by surprise
But she dodges them all
Just skates on by
Time passes slowly for her 'til when
Dazzler finds a planet for her man to

Starhawk & T Mafia:
Take out the tri-cock again
Take out the tri-cock again

Starhawk:
All five-year olds on the left

Starhawk & T Mafia:
And pedophiles on the right

Starhawk:
Take the tri-cock in fist

Starhawk & T Mafia:
It's an amazing sight
With a cosmic thrust
It's in her anus
Take out the tri-cock again
Take out the tri-cock again


SEVEN DAYS OF RAPE

Starhawk:
A submissive, all lonely with no one around
Gets her spirit quite broken when she's gagged and she's bound

In Galactus' ship, with titty clamps on her nips
She sucks on all fours, as she's milking his balls

Makes his cock glisten and gleam
Like a cosmic-powered, well-oiled machine

Her taco gets pink, but just too clean
'Cause he's an ass man
He's got an anal plan

She'll bend over, spread-eagle, force down her head
She starts quaking her ass cheeks, bares her chest, cuts her leg
Pokes her ass out, because she's down with the plan
For seven days of rape, I'll be fuckin' that ass

She'll be submissive, pose naked
Bark like a dog, whenever he says
Hell, she might try to deny it, but dammit
She'll even go lez

Strokin' cunts and hand jobs
That's his plan for her hands
For seven days of rape
He'll be fuckin' that ass


SEVEN DAYS OF RAPE - REPRISE

Starhawk:
Any penis shape, she cannot side step
Promise her hot sex and she must try it
She's like, Ooh, rape!
Because she's been trained to fuck every man

For seven days of rape, she's been fucked in that ass

I don't need her permission
I'll just take her submission

T Mafia:
That is a dazzling ass

Starhawk:
For seven days of rape, I'll be fuckin' that ass

Starhawk & T Mafia:
Triple-stick it; be a man

Starhawk:
(In just seven days) of rape, I'll be raping Dazzler's ass, ass

Fuck!
Suck!
Bitch!
Herald!
Slut whore!
Get the fuck down on that table!
Fuck!
Goddamn it!
I'm popping out of your mouth?
Goddamn right!
Goddamn, you cosmic bitch!
Yeah, baby!
Yeah, baby!
Take that tri-cock!
Take it!
Take it!
Take it!

In your ass


ONCE SHE'S BEEN RAPED

Starhawk:
Once she's been raped, she don't wanna call you
She'd rather fuck the toaster you own
This point in your life, you know that you love her
So you look on, you monitor space as she skates on

So remember the time
Your glory days
The days of the plague that wiped out your race

Into the sun
There's no tomorrow
The others died, but not you that day

The sun's sweet embrace
Gave you forever tomorrows
Galactus was born
To eat race after race
And you've caused so much pain
Sorrow for days
You chose not this fate, but your herald looks great
So it'll be okay
It'll be okay

And that's all the time
That you take
Because the Dazzler, on she skates

She'll give you a sign
When she finds your break
You'll look around, a planet is found
To face their fate

But then you realize
You did not fuck her today
Throughout the night
What comes her way
Will get the pleasures of your horny slave

But it's the same every day


FUCK-A, FUCK-A, FUCK ME

Vixen:
Dazzler's got the itch
Poor white bitch
She gets one hug and her panties drop

Now she's out there roaming
For an anal probing
Hoping a slut can get a nice, hard boning

And every Vixen knows
The girl's a ho
She needs a fuck 'cause she's a whore

She puts up no resistance
Just begs men to come fuck this
She's thinking, Fuck Galactus
I need some rape dick

Fuck-a, fuck-a, fuck-a, fuck me
Tit fuck my big titties
Cut me, rape me, yes, take me
Fuck my open wounds

Off-load wads in my face
It's my rightful place
Face fuck my skull while my head goes down

And that's why I'm the Vixen of this podcast mission
I need a strong pimp hand
And anal sticking

Fuck-a, fuck-a, fuck-a, fuck me
Eat fruit from my pussy
Rape me, take me and break me
Fuck my open wounds

Fuck-a, fuck-a, fuck-a, fuck me
As if I were thirteen
Keep my corpse here for later
As a creature of the night


PIMPED

"Dazzler" (Starhawk):
It was great when it all began
I was a regular Galactus fan
But it was over when he had the plan
To start killing my goddamn fans

Now the only thing I contemplate
Is an orgasm without rape
Rose tint my world
I'm pimped by Galactus' hand

"R-11" (T Mafia):
All that bitching's starting to get old
Dazzler should do the fuck what she's told
I'm just a toaster and I don't have a soul
But I love fucking Dazzler's hole

Sloppy seconds I can tolerate
While she fucks me in those roller skates
Rose tint my world
Chain that bitch to Galactus' bed

"Galactus" (T Mafia):
It's beyond me
What that bitch is thinking
She must be PMSing
Take this bitch away

My tri-cock is empty
Dazzler, you've drained me
You've lost your "rapeability"
Whoa! Here it comes again

"Dazzler":
I feel released
Time to mourn the deceased
See the land of my nativity
My planet has been seared

My system feels the letdown
And my panties are so wet now
I must return to Galactus
His lust is so sincere


GENOCIDE

"Galactus" (T Mafia):
I love genocide, aborting births
Pimping out heralds, scorching Earth
Anal rape, until the anus

"Galactus" & Starhawk:
Is bleeding

"Dazzler" (Starhawk):
Rape and ass fucking? Okay by me
Red-hot cock is all I want to eat
I'm on the rag, and my pussy

"Dazzler" & "Galactus":
Is bleeding

Starhawk:
So Dazzler loves tri-cock

"Galactus":
I love fucking whores

Starhawk:
She loves creamy, creamy face shots

"Galactus":
I love heralds without drawers

Starhawk:
So this cosmic opera now closes its doors

"Galactus":
So say goodbye to this pimp and dazzling whore

Starhawk:
And superheroes can kiss the Dazzler's choral anus

T Mafia:
And still
Obsessed with sex
Some psychos
Known as "PCX"

Wasting time
Doing a show
Without meaning

Starhawk:
Meaning - without (meaning)

July 02, 2007 7:44 PM  
Anonymous Starhawk said...

Awesome transcription. It reminds Starhawk of that time Starhawk was thinking of licking Kid Mission's sweet wet - ooops, OH! I'm still typing, aren't I?...

Lyrically, the Starhawk would have preferred the post-release editions of the songs (to better assist the PCX tribute bands), but thanks, TCM, for an awesome job of nailing it as it was "sang"; regardless of how written, or ever to be rewritten.

However, Starhawk thinks you should still publish the unabridged Fuck-A-Fucka-Fuck-Me lyrics. Those are TOO precious to not see the light of day.

OTOH, Starhawk must say: The real-time transcription of Seven Days of Rape - Reprise? Another TCM classic moment.

- Starhawk.speechless. aren'tI?

P.S.
Some VERY important notes:

Music by: Richard O'Brien
Source: Rocky Horror Kareoke CD

Lyrics by: Starhawk
Add'l Lyrics by: Trenchcoat Mafia

Special Guest: Vixen!
Favorite Fangirl: Kid Mission

- prepare your anuses -

July 03, 2007 5:25 PM  
Blogger T Mafia said...

For myself, I'd like to praise not only Starhawk's lyrics, but his many ad-libs (the aforementioned bit at the end of "Seven Days of Rape - Reprise", for example) and real-time departures from his own pre-prepared songs that were inevitably better than whatever he'd actually written down (even if they kept me in a constant state of "Wait-- what?!" as I'd be looking at the original, relatively PG-13 words to these).

I agree it was tragic that we had to lose a few decidedly un-PG-13 lines from Vixen's solo showcase (hey, don't blame us - the karaoke CD left a whole verse of the "real" song out, so we had to improvise on the fly). The italicized lyrics below are the ones we wound up cutting.

Fuck-a, fuck-a, fuck-a, fuck me
As if I were thirteen
Just like Mommy and Daddy
Fucked me in my room

Oh, fista, fista, fist fuck me
Take a shit on my titties

Keep my corpse here for later
As a creature of the night

July 04, 2007 4:15 AM  
Blogger Vixen said...

Okay...can you all see what the poor Vixen must deal with??? Be glad that I'm taking all of the slings and arrows for the females out there.....

July 07, 2007 8:01 AM  
Blogger Vixen said...

BTW, let the record show that Vixen is not a fan of either golden showers or brown ones.....Isn't fucking smelly and dirty enough w/o that added shit? {pun intended)

July 07, 2007 8:04 AM  
Blogger T Mafia said...

Well, maybe it wouldn't be if you'd stop giving all those pity fucks to every homeless guy who growls at you, "Hey! Got anything for me?!"

July 07, 2007 9:52 AM  
Blogger Vixen said...

Well, that's how I met you, don't you remember, T Mafia? You said if I stuck with you, you'd "make me famous".....Yeah, I chose to believe in you even when you were sleeping on the bus stop...heh heh....

July 08, 2007 7:46 AM  
Anonymous Starhawk said...

[Tracer]!

Wasn't a room offered to you two by MC Trekkie, ages ago?

Enough of your maudlin linguistic frottage!

-Starhawk.whereTheHell.isKidMission.anyway?

July 09, 2007 9:51 PM  
Blogger T Mafia said...

To whom it may concern:

If you've come across this page because you Googled the expression "linguistic frottage"...what the hell is wrong with you? Don't you have anything better to do with your time?!

July 10, 2007 9:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow, brilliant episode. Definitley my favourite, next to episode 46 the first one I ever listened to.
I'm a big Rocky Horror fan, (who isn't?) so that was a treat.
You should sing more in you podcasts...And probably script it too, as much as I love tangents.

Courtney

January 08, 2008 9:49 AM  
Blogger T Mafia said...

Okay, so it took over six months, but finally we get some praise for this one (I mean, Starhawk and myself thought it was great, but we just might be a little biased.)

Thanks Courtney, you just made my day.

I just can't believe you actually want more singing on PCX after Vixen's unique rendering of Curtis Mayfield's "Pusherman" in the intro/outro for #68, but if you insist...

January 08, 2008 8:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, maybe not you, you're very flat.
But Vixen's voice aint too bad.

And Starhawk sings with alot of energy.


Courtney

January 08, 2008 10:08 PM  
Blogger T Mafia said...

Yeah, but 'hawk can only attain those high energy levels by ingesting, shall we say, "performance-enhancing" substances (read: caffeine and sugar-laden Gummi Bears.)

January 09, 2008 9:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I just listened to the opening song again and aww makes me feel all warm inside.
I love you guys!

Courtney

December 16, 2008 8:30 AM  
Blogger T Mafia said...

Aww. We love you too, Courtney.

Yeah, there's something special about this one.

December 20, 2008 12:04 PM  
Blogger XantesFire said...

PCX: The Classics Tour.

"Cunt of Dazzler" would be a great comic title.

1st appearance of the Watcher

"...in Take out the tri-cock again", I don't get what does pedophilia and 5 year olds have anything do with it.

Granny Tranny? Are you sure you're not a regular listener of Distorted View?

Just out of curiosity was this inspired by Kid Mission and why didn't she do the female lyrics?

Was Galactus acting as pussy whipped with Frankie/Nova?

StarHawk has a great rant.

What the hell is StarHawk doing in movie theaters? Is he the guy dress in a trenchcoat?

What caused the end of the world? So it was your opinion that Bush caused it? But if we go by the movies, voting in a black president is a sure route to an apocalypse.

Maybe its because she's not there to hook up with Longshot and she doesn't give birth to Shatterstar and whatever something doesn't happen.

Why are they constantly trying to make Dazzler to be more than she is? Have you read her graphic novel, Dazzler: The Movie where she's sleeping with a washed out actor and she makes a film that "would have suppress mutant hate" but she burns it to give the actor a chance at renewing his career?

But wait how did the Earth die? I have a theory...Galactus knowing that sooner or later, Dazzler would want to go back to Earth decides to destroy it. He sends messengers to a few different worlds telling them if they secretly unite and kill the humans he will not eat their worlds for a predetermined time. One world outright says no, so Galactus eats it.
Meanwhile the secret armada destroys the Earth. After they destroy the Earth they find out one of the worlds Galactus ask to be part of the fleet has been destroyed. Suspecting a double cross they decide to take on the big guy, after all, if they can take down the planet that took Galactus down, how hard would it be to take down Galactus. Then they find Dazzler first.
But what really happened was Galactus knew that one world would say no and by eating it, he gave the armada the excuse it needed to come after him. And he made sure they would bump into Dazzler first so he would conveniently show up to save her, destroy the armada and later those worlds. Evidence all gone. No home world to return to and he's her hero for saving her.

Grace Jones was an early inspiration for Dazzler?

I like this musical episode but it got me wondering what if you did it West Side Story style.
"I feel hungry."
"I've just met a purple planet eater named Galactus."
"An entity like that who tried to eat your planet."

June 05, 2011 11:55 AM  

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